Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Innocent love

When I was 13 there was a boy in a higher class at my school. His name was Anthony. He was one of the few people that actually spoke to me. He made jokes and made me blush.
He was one of the popular kids, I wasn't. I knew them, we said hi, but I was never part of the group.

He worked at a store in the mall. Every Saturday I went with my parents to do some shopping for the week. Every Saturday we saw him working. He was so sweet, always made time to talk to my parents. They really liked him. So well mannered and all.

One time in school he said something to me in the hallway and I tried to act all cool and calm. Then he smiled and touched my cheek. That was the moment. The second his hands touched my face I loved him.

I was always way ahead of others my age with the way I thought about things, so I said to myself, you can't be in love, you're a child. What do you know about love?
But every time he passed me by, talked to me, smiled at me or even if I saw him from a distance my heart started beating faster. I could feel my cheeks turning red. I just didn't know what to do with myself. When I saw him with other girls I cried on the inside, because no one could ever know the way I felt.

I wrote poems about him. About how I loved him, but he would never know. Eventually I left that school at 15. Too much drama there and in my life. Later on I heard he moved away to attend some university in the south of the country.

Then one day I was in the city shopping, just walking around by myself. I suddenly had this strange feeling. I looked around me, looked up and there he was, I saw him. He didn't see me, I hid myself. That was when I realised that I still loved him. I was no longer a 13 year old child. I never had a boyfriend because no one was him. I didn't want a boyfriend, because I thought about him everyday since I was 13 years old.

Today I'm a grown woman and no longer a child. I think I know what love is. But I have no words for it. I know it in my heart, because that's where I still carry him after all these years.


-Images: Some from DeviantArt, some I don't know-

4 comments:

Lori Bailey said...

Hey Lo. Beautiful post and by your words I felt that, even thought 13 yrs old, you loved this boy. Both he and you are grown and I think you should use these thoughts to perhaps take the oppurtunity to write him. Who knows what could happen? This could be your moment to "take that chance". If anything perhaps you and he could rekindle a friendship?

I say go for it..... what have you got to loose?

Hugs
Lori

Lori Bailey said...

Just stopping by to wish you a happy Sunday

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The Lord Almighty said...

You are loved. Don't forget the one that is out there who loves you from a distance.

It works both ways you know. Sometimes you have to forget about yourself and look outside your own concerns to find the answers.

L.C. said...

My husbands name is Anthony and for some reason this really touched me :) I know they aren't the same, but I feel now that I have him in my life, that I will never look at love the same